The Breakup

The last time I wrote in here I was reasonably secure in my relationship with the other half or so I thought. How wrong I was.

I thought she was away at a weekend with a new special friend, how wrong, well how right I was in some ways. She came home from a weekend with her new girlfriend to tell me that she was unhappy. What I didn't know at that point was that our relationship was effectively over. Being unhappy was her way of telling me that she had already moved on. Clearly in hindsight she hadn't just been with her new girlfriend.

I was unhappy too. I put it down to frustration at work but in hindsight I wasn't happy at the way things were going either but not so unhappy that I wanted to end the relationship. Both of us should have talked about this I guess and it is far too late now.

Then I started to unravel the layers of deceit and lies and the brazenness with which the new relationship had been developing in front of me. Of course the situation was by no means unique but it always feels worse when it happens to you.

She even told me the new guys name so in this age of social media it wasn't hard to find out a few things about him. Despite myself, as this was a really low point in my life, I said to myself. 'What the hell have you done you silly woman.' If you thought that the age difference between Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher was unsustainable as has recently been proved right then this new relationship has no chance and is doomed to fail.

I console myself that at some point in time you can just about guarantee that one of both of them are going to wake up one morning in the not too distant future and go 'what the fuck have I done?'

But then a fifty something woman's hormones and puppy love by some needy emotionally immature man roughly the same age as her kids looking for a shoulder to cry on as his own relationship breaks down probably make them impervious to the simple realities of such a relationship. Once these things get rolling they have an inertia all of their own which is hard to stop.

But for the ex when this happens there is a double whammy as she has chosen to move to the other end of the country and a new job. What is going to happen if and when the relationship fails and she is in a new city with no friends and family close by and potentially nowhere to live?

Unfortunately for the ex, the GFC and a prenup agreement meant that where she might have expected a bit of a windfall to start her new life there wasn't much to share and I have ended up with the house that she loved and a lot of the gear we accumulated together while she packed up her belongings in a few boxes and left with little to show for our life together.

This might be a source of bitterness in the future if it isn't already. I suspect that in some ways a little guilt on her part meant that she settled for a lot less than she should have in terms of what she took with her.

But life moves on for both of us and I still have my toys and I am enjoying them still.

So what to do next? Once the hurt started to fade.Too soon in hindsight, I joined an online dating web site. One part of my planned rehabilitation was to get back in the saddle as it were as soon as possible.Not just to find a new love of my life but to get out and meet new people and do new stuff.

In some respects this has been successful, in others not so.

American Extremism

Next year I'll be the big 50. When I was growing up WW2 still loomed large in the general consciousness and most men that I came across as a kid that were my age now had been involved in the armed forces.

Also fresh in people's minds was that the British Empire wasn't able to protect us when the Japanese entered the war to make it a truly global cataclysm and stormed across the Pacific headed in this general direction.

Luckily for us Japan miscalculated and bombed Pearl Harbour which led to America entering the war and to cut a long story short provided the industrial might and manpower to vanquish both foes. From that point on we looked to America for leadership in many respects, maybe not because we really wanted to but because they were the big guys in our backyard.

Since WW2 the US has promoted itself as the leader of the free world and gone into bat for us against the red menace and more latterly against Islamic fundamentalists. But somewhere along the line America has lost it's way, and whatever they do on the world stage seems to more about self interest than anything morally altruistic.

And when I say 'they' I really mean that small extremely wealthy and powerful group of corporations and individuals that are pulling the strings in the background. The kind of people that drive an invasion of an oil rich desert nation to secure future oil supplies but badly miscalculate the impact of their actions that cost more than any potential return. There is a bit more involved in running a country than running a corporation, no matter how large and powerful. Despite what the right wing ideologues would have us believe the playing field is never equal.

From and outsiders point of view, this in a nutshell is what is what is wrong with America, something brought into stark relief as we watch the intense partisan debate about the debt ceiling.

There seems to be no middle ground in this debate, extremists on both sides are driving fringe ideologies that in the long term are unsustainable and are self destructive in the name of short term gain. Think the Taliban, think Southern Koran burning Baptists. These people are not representative of their religions-they are completely deluded. Unfortunately they have the ability to inflict widespread hardship and pain on the innocent.

While Americans might think that the debate over their economy is all about them, the rest of us are left to count the cost of bitter ideological battles by the lunatic fringes of the most powerful single economy on the planet. While the American congress and senate fiddle while Washington burns my mortgage rates go up.

The best thing that could happen is that the US 'defaults' on its obligations and collectively the American people revolt against extremist ideology when they next have a chance and vote for more responsible government. Vote for less costly militarism, everyone paying their fair share of the cost of running the economy-and yes that means business paying their fair share and living with some pain when entitlements are cut.

Pigs might fly but not in my lifetime. But in my lifetime I fully expect America to wane as a world military and economic power. I hope I survive the transition

Eating well out West

We are eating out again and eating well out West. I get a hard time for living out west - some of it from people who live in one of those flash suburbs out East, places like Otara East. People in glass houses should not throw stones I reckon.

Whatever anyone says about the west and the perception that we are all black T shirt wearing bogans or our woman all have hairy legs and wear vegetarian fibre cardies there are actually some pretty decent places to eat and drink out this way.

Historically the wine industry in this part of the world was kick started by Dalmation immigrants once they had retired from the gum fields. The story goes that they couldn't stand the slop the my ancestors were drinking and started to grow grapes. Most likely the guys that started growing grapes around here were too clever to get involved in shagging around with their gumboots getting full of mud in the gumfields in the first place.

Tony's was established almost 30 years ago in Henderson-one of the first if not the first decent eatery in this part of the world. In recognition of the legacy of vineyards in the area Tony's was originally known as Tony's Vineyard Restaurant.

While it is a bit rustic and looking a bit tired Tony's seems to be quite popular with the locals. The reason being they stick to their knotting and and do a decent basic steak meal. The service is ok, though we had to wait a while for our first drink order.

Since the last time were there the menu has been upgraded but the basics of a good big steak remain.

Always a good place for a feed but for some reason last night we both felt a bit rushed though we both left feeling extremely full and satisfied.

Where?

Edsel Street, Henderson

Tony's Vineyard Restaurant

Eating out on Waiheke

Last weekend we spent a few days on Waiheke Island. It has been years since I had been to the island and even longer since I had stayed so I was looking forward to it.

Waiheke is an interesting place, full of people who think that they are interesting and a playground for the rich, famous and infamous. None of which are we. The real natives of Waiheke must breathe a huge sigh of relief when the best part of the summer is over and they can reclaim their island from the hordes of daily sightseers and holiday makers like us.

But I digress, Waiheke has a reputation for being a trendy greenie type place to be, a more upmarket version of wild west Auckland and far more accessible than Coromandel. While she who must be obeyed (SWMBO) was interested in checking out some of the arty farty stuff and wanted a photo of herself outside the various wineries I was more interested in feeding the inner man and making sure that I had a beer for lunch.

BTW whatever I tell SWMBO I'd really rather be riding!

We sampled a few eating establishments and I guess like anywhere there were some great places to eat that we would certainly return too and others that we would give a wide berth.

To be fair generally the food was great but the service in some of the establishments left a bit to be desired, not quite what I was expecting in an upmarket tourist trap. It is not a good look if you get 'forgotten' and your waitress can't speak english. What is the world coming to when you can't at least be served in a restaurant in your own country by someone who speaks more or less the the same lingo as you?

First stop was the Nourish bar and cafe in Ostend for a late lunch. The food was good and I tried one of the locally produced beers - Baroona. This was a nice we drop but I noticed that it had a use by label for later in the week. I pointed this out to the the waitress and ordered another one to help them run down their old stock.

Later in the day we wandered into Oneroa and had dinner at 151 Ocean View. Why SWMBO took us to a fish restaurant when she doesn't eat fish is beyond me. Their fish of the day was fabulous and the service was great. The sea gulls seemed well behaved and when we went past the next afternoon the deck was full of diners - always a good sign.

We rented a car for one day to get us about the countryside but we didn't make as much use of it as we could have as I had rather a boozy elevenses at Charley Farley's. SWMBO doesn't like driving on narrow gravel roads so we didn't get out to the far end of the island and I wasn't going to drive was I? The old tractor outside is a nice touch and seemed to intrigue some of the tourists.

We did however get far enough to find the Beachfront Bar and Cafe where SWMBO sampled the chicken niblets and was moved to compliment the chef on his prowess. Chicken niblets are her signature Friday night meal but they are not a patch on what came out of the kitchen at the Beachfront Bar and Cafe.

Our last evening meal was at the Vino Vino. We wanted to eat here because we had heard good things about the food. The food was good but what spoilt it a bit for us was that we had asked to sit out on the balcony when we booked only to find when we got there that the balcony had been booked for a 21st birthday party.

VinoVino is certainly the place to be by the clientele. I have never seen such a concentration of man bags in once place and was convinced that there must have been a fancy dress party up the road that most of the diners were off to afterwards. It wasn't that people were dressed in costumes so much but they were wearing the sort of gear that you'd wear to a party at Paris Hilton's Hampton pad.

Once again I helped the establishment get rid of their almost at use by use date Baroona's. The only real problem with this place as the acoustics are terrible-talk about not being able to have a quiet romantic dinner Trev. Especially with some sort of boisterous hen party going happening at the next table.

Finally, we had occasion to eat at a few other places but they are not worth a mention except one. Apart from the fact my bacon and eggs was a bit on the small side the best service by far we received was at the Wai Kitchen. I mention the Wai Kitchen as they have felt the sharp end of a NZ Herald staffer's pen after a bit of a mishap with his dinner. I was also intrigued by his comment about the lack of decent eating places in Oneroa. Clearly he is a lot harder to please than we are.

South Head Trail Ride November 2010

One of the reasons that I started this blog was to pen stories about the rides I have been on. I have had vague ideas of somehow making money out of the video we take at our rides (with a spectacular lack of success so click on an add to help me out) and a blog of the rides seemed like a good idea to support this scheme.

Problem is that I am long past my prime in terms of my riding ability and while people are quite chuffed to see themselves blasting past me on a You Tube clip they aren't as keen to pay for the pleasure of watching some older dudes cruising around the track and making fools of themselves.

There is also a lot of competition in this area of the new economy. There are plenty of faster riders, and better writers and videographers than me supplying the world with video and copy.

Not to worry, I like writing. If life had worked out differently then I might even have become a a real writer. My grammar and sentence structure would have had to improve. Heaps. I also get a lot of satisfaction out of the short movie clips that I make and I have a small You Tube following that also seemed to like watching them.

It seems a long time ago now but in mid September I bought the WR300 and proceeded to give my knee a good wrench on our first outing. If you have read some of my other posts or watched some of my video clips you'll have seen that I have been out on it again and bought myself a flash pair of knee braces to boot.

I would have done some more riding but for most of the past six weeks I have also struggled to get over a cold which has made life pretty miserable. Not only was walking a mission for a few weeks but I have been feeling bloody grotty as well.

I got pretty run down I think after rooting my knee. A combination of the fact that I couldn't get any sleep because it was so sore, worry that I had really stuffed it properly this time, and that the new bike could possibly sit idle for months in the garage. Also because I manfully and stupidly didn't slow down on the rehab and general fitness work. And work, the work that pays the bills. Despite feeling pretty grotty of course I kept going to work.

But I digress sort of. On one of my better days several weeks ago I went up to the South Head trail ride organised by the team from Endless Dirtbiking.

This was the second ride proper on the new bike and the first with the new braces. I don't count a blat around the bikepark. This would be a decent test for the knee.

The team set out a great ride with some challenging 'expert' sections most of which I avoided for the sake of my knee. There were plenty of new tracks cut through recently cleared or freshly planted pines and some of the more mature trees for the large number of riders that turned up for the ride. I managed a few loops as a sweep and even managed to help rescue a guy who had probably broken his collarbone.

The knee was a bit tender afterwards but I don't think I did anymore damage. I'm now waiting for the meds to kick in to fix my cold that seems to have taken a turn for the worst - then I can unleash the beast on some different terrain.

The King is dead-long live live the king

Since little Prince Willie Windsor's proposal to his long term girlfriend Katie or whatever her name is was announced earlier this week they have hardly been out of the news which amuses me in a sense. Don't get me wrong, I wish them every happiness which will be a huge ask given the fishbowl that they live in.

Living in a country where Willie's aging grandma is technically the head of state and where a large chunk of the population was born in the motherland (including my own mum I might add) there is always going to be some lingering interest and fascination in the goings on of the royals. Nowhere near as much as in the good old days when I was growing up and we all got a day off to stand on the side of the road and wave as some royal or another whipped past in a motorcade but a fair bit of sentimental interest remains all the same. Scratch the skin of many Kiwis (brown and white) and not too far back down the family tree the blood of Britannia flows.

I am sure that the sales of commemorative tea towels and mugs will go though the roof and we will get blow by blow speculative accounts on how the engagement and wedding will will pan out until the moment something different happens. Despite what my work mates might believe I am not champing at the bit to go online and order my china set or some teaspoons myself .

I can however imagine how mum and other ladies of her ilk are already getting excited about the prospect of sitting down in front of the tele early one morning sometime next year and watching the wedding of the century hugging a colour photo of the happy couple to their withered breasts as tears of joy run down their cheeks. Hopefully it doesn't clash with games in the rugby world cup because then there will be trouble in households around the country.

As you might have guessed I am pretty ambivalent about the wedding myself. I won't be getting excited about it. I also don't really care that a little old lady on the other side of the world is our technical head of state. I am also not at all concerned that the apparently loony Prince of Wales is next in line. I am sure that he is not a bad bloke really. Unfortunately he has inherited a bad habit of dropping the odd clanger and then there was the unfortunate marriage. Well who hasn't made the odd mistake in their lives?

What really amuses me is how our media - lets lump them all in together immediately seek to make capital of the immanent nuptials. It only seems a few weeks ago on a slow news day that the main news outlets were telling us that once the old girl goes good old godzone will immediately become a republic.

Despite what republicans would have us believe most of us don't really care about our form of government or that the Queen of England is our head of state. For years now we have appointed our own Governor Generals and our system of government seems to work ok for us.We are more concerned if we are concerned at all, that whatever their hue our politicians seem to think they are above the law and their partisanship in the face of economic and practical reality.

God help us if we became a republic and adopted a political model similar the that of the US or France-both dysfunctional and pandering to the lowest common denominator.

Long live the king!

Growing old disgracefully

A few weeks ago I bought a new bike after agonizing for weeks on how I could justify the expense. What did it for me was a trip to Christchurch in the aftermath of the earthquake. Although I know it intellectually, the fact that a major event beyond any one's ability to control had the ability to profoundly change people's lives and could happen at any time was reinforced by my trip.The earthquake had a profound and traumatic impact on people, even though most of them were not directly impacted by the event. It's not that I have suddenly become completely fatalistic and am going to spend, spend and spend with no thought for tomorrow. But I decided once and for all that there are things that I want to do while I am able because tomorrow I might not be able to, and riding my bike is one of these.

Enter a 2010 Husqvarna WR300. I am sure you will agree-a wonderfully sexy looking machine.

Unfortunately due to a little mishap with a slippery tree root or stump that I hit the wrong way towards the end of my first ride I haven't been riding for a few weeks and won't be back on the bike for a few weeks more. Maybe by the end of the month if all goes well.

The good news is that the bike is ok. The reflex action of sticking my knee out to save myself resulted in a severe strain or hyper extension. I am not really sure what happened but things got a big wrench and I knew I had done some damage to my already dodgy knee. While the swelling took a long time to go down it now looks as though things are settling down finally. While the physio I went to thought that I may have rooted one my cruciate ligaments my doctor thinks that it is ok. Well at least I haven't done any more damage to a knee that sooner or later will need reconditioning. Hopefully a visit to a surgeon this week will confirm that I don't need an immediate operation.

Until I saw my doctor a few days I thought I might have stuffed the knee properly and my brand new bike would be sitting in the garage for a while. To say that I was extremely frustrated was an understatement. Not only because I couldn't ride but because, especially in the first few days I couldn't do much for myself.

To make matters worse I haven't been able to sleep. I am a bit of a fidget so any time I rolled over in bed I would tweak my knee and wake up. And then wouldn't get back to sleep. For hours. To say that I have been grumpy is something of an understatement. This state of affairs was not helped by people at work making fun of me and my walking stick. For someone who considers himself to be more or less in his prime. Well ok in the autumn of his prime, being compared to a fractious stick waving old man was I thought pretty mean on their part and I wasn't happy about it.

For myself and she who must be obeyed the experience is an unhappy glimpse into a possible future where one us, well me probably is partially incapacitated and how much that that will impact on our quality of life. A quality of life that we take for granted.

I guess we'll have to deal with those cards as they are dealt and in the meantime I intend to age disgracefully.